How to improve your relationship with yourself

Aug 17, 2023 | Personal Development | 0 comments

This post is all about how to improve your relationship with yourself.

In the hustle and bustle of everyday life, we sometimes forget to nurture the most important relationship of all. The one we have with ourselves. 

Building a strong and positive relationship with ourselves is crucial for our well-being and personal growth.

It allows us to understand our needs, boost self-love, and become more resilient.

So why is it important to invest time and effort into improving this relationship? 

Well, when we have a healthy connection with ourselves, we become better equipped to handle stress, make decisions that align with our values, and cultivate meaningful relationships with others.

And in this article, you will find 6 unique tips to improve your relationship with yourself including taking yourself on dates or even understanding your emotions.

On top of this at the end of each tip, you will find a couple of actionable steps to help you start your self improvement journey.

So without further introduction, let’s jump straight in!

Be mindful of the way you talk to yourself

This one might seem like an obvious one, but you would be surprised at how negative our inner dialogue is.

And before you ask, “Does it really affect me that much?” let me explain something to you about your mind.

The interesting thing about the brain is that it doesn’t distinguish reality from imagination.

If you were to tell yourself over and over how there is an elephant in the room, you will start to see the elephant eventually. Even if it’s not there.

Now this may seem like a silly example.

How can you start seeing an elephant out of nowhere, something that is tangible, makes noise, and is so big?

But what if we talk about intangible things? Things you cannot really see, but can feel. Like your self worth, your own perception of beauty, and your self esteem.

Those are much easier things to manipulate because you can only feel them.

That is why the way you speak to yourself is so important.

What to do instead: Start changing your inner dialogue. I know this is something easier said than done. But in this article, you will find 5 powerful ways to reframe your negative self talk.

Another simple exercise you can try to improve this is to write down every night three things you appreciate about yourself.

This will help you acknowledge your positive traits instead of always focusing on the negative ones and boost your self esteem.

Understands that somebody else’s beauty doesn’t take away from your own.

One thing I really struggled with along my self love journey was comparison.

It was like one day I felt comfortable and beautiful in my own skin until I saw someone online who was gorgeous.

Then I would throw all my self worth down the drain and start comparing all the ways they were beautiful and I was not.

Later would come the shame parade because of how I’ve eaten during the past week, or how little effort I put into my appearance, and so on.

That was until I read the quote: “Somebody else’s beauty doesn’t take away from your own”.

And that phrase made something click in my brain and made me understand that there are many types of beauty.

There is not one exact formula or prototype of pretty. And in fact, this definition even changes from person to person because beauty is something subjective.

So just because you saw a gorgeous person that looks nothing like you doesn’t mean you are automatically less pretty.

It just means you glow in different ways, and at different things. And that’s okay.

You don’t need to look exactly like all the insta supermodels and influencers to be beautiful. Because you are the one that creates that definition on your own terms.

You just need to be confident enough to live up to that definition and carry yourself around with pride in the person you are.

What to do instead: every time you see someone beautiful on social media or in real life, don’t through away your self worth and self esteem.

Simply remind yourself that somebody else’s beauty will never take away from your own because the only person that has the power to do that is you.

Take the time to know yourself

You know that feeling when you start liking someone or falling in love and you just want to know every little detail about them?

Like their favorite things, what they are doing during the day, what they like to do when they are sad, their comfort movies and snacks, etc…

Well, that’s exactly the enthusiasm I want you to approach with yourself.

It sometimes feels like we avoid so much getting to know ourselves because of all the bad things we might discover, that we miss the opportunity to get to know all the beautiful reasons we should love ourselves.

But let me tell you, we all have flaws and things we need to work on. But that doesn’t make us less worthy of love.

What to do instead: try including at least one self discovery activity over the course of your week. This could be through journal prompts, trying new hobbies, etc.

In this article, you’ll find 9 unique self discovery activities you need to try.

Stop labeling yourself. Improve your relationship with yourself

And no I’m not talking about “relationship labels”, but something more dangerous than that.

If you were to pay close attention to the way you speak to yourself for just a day you would notice the amount of labels we use on ourselves.

“Oh I’m such a picky eater” “ I’m always late, I’m so bad at managing my time”, “I’m soo lazy, the only thing I do is sit on the couch all day”, etc.

These kinds of comments are only damaging your self image and self esteem.

Because the problem with these is that you are sending a fixed message of who you think you are to your brain. 

Let me explain what I mean by fixed message. When you are constantly using labels with yourself and even use words like never or always you are creating this idea of who you will always be.

But the truth is that we have the power to change, whether that’s our personality, physical appearance and our lives.

And allowing you to believe that will help you overcome more easily limiting beliefs about yourself.

What to do instead: Focus on developing a growth mindset rather than having a fixed mindset.

A growth mindset is one that embraces failure and accepts it as part of the process. Is the one that empowers you to change and challenge yourself to be better.

Here is an depth article on how to develop a growth mindset and the difference between the two.

Take yourself on dates

Who said dates were only for people in relationships?

Honestly, one of the overall best tips I can give you to improve your relationship with yourself is to act as if you were your crush.

And this is a tip we have been talking about throughout the entire article.

Because we all know the feeling when you met someone. You treat them sweetly, shower them with compliments, feel excited to get to know them, etc.

And I know this can sound selfish and egocentric. But self love will always feel like that when you don’t receive it often.

But the truth is you absolutely deserve to feel loved and appreciated every single day of your life even if it’s only coming from you.

That is why I recommend you approach your relationship with yourself with this perspective.

And one of the best ways you can start to do this is by taking yourself on dates. That way you are combining a great self love activity with an opportunity to get to know yourself better.

In fact, if you often daydream about the types of dates you would love to be taken on, why not do it on your own?

Another benefit I love about taking yourself on dates is that you learn how to be in your own company. And this is going to inevitably raise your standard so much when it comes to future relationships.

Because when you learn and feel okay with being on your own you stop accepting the bare minimum from others and start valuing yourself and recognizing your self worth.

And believe there is nothing more powerful than someone who knows their worth and doesn’t accept BS treatment from others.

What to do: for the next 5-10 minutes I want to take a piece of paper and brainstorm a list of your “dream dates”. Once you have them all written out choose one you feel most excited about and schedule it on your calendar (as a priority).

After that first date, don’t forget to check in and schedule more dates. Just as you would with any potential partner ;).

Understand your emotions. How to improve your relationship with yourself

Another essential thing you need to practice is understanding your emotions.

And I say practice because it’s not something that you can just turn on or off. Or something that comes easily.

Sometimes understanding the mess in our hearts and minds is not easy and it’s what makes taking decisions so difficult.

But as with any sport or skill, the more you do it, the better you become at it.

And that is what I want you to try.

Emotions can be complex and overwhelming, and it’s not always easy to understand what we’re feeling or why. 

But it´s essential to understand our emotions and the way we react to them so that we can be in control of our lives, instead of the other way around.

Here is a beginner’s guide where you will discover what are emotions and where they come from as well as how to deal with the most common feelings and 35 journal prompts to help you understand yours!

Final thoughts on tips to improve your relationship with yourself

In conclusion, improving your relationship with yourself is an ongoing journey that requires dedication.

By implementing these six tips, you can begin to create a healthier and more positive connection with yourself. Here is an overview of the tips we discussed:

Firstly, changing your inner dialogue is crucial. Practice self-compassion and replace negative self-talk with kind and encouraging words. 

Remember, you deserve love and respect from yourself just as much as anyone else does.

Secondly, taking yourself on dates is a wonderful way to prioritize self-care. Set aside dedicated time each week to do something you enjoy alone. Whether it’s exploring a new hobby or simply indulging in some much-needed relaxation.

Understanding your emotions is another essential aspect of improving your relationship with yourself. Take regular reflection time to check in with how you’re feeling and why. This will help you identify patterns and triggers.

Next, it’s important to stop labeling yourself based on past mistakes. 

Embrace a growth mindset and use setbacks as opportunities for growth rather than self-criticism.

Lastly, remember that other people’s beauty or success does not diminish your own worth. Comparison can be detrimental to our self-esteem. Instead, focus on celebrating the unique qualities that make you who you are.

By incorporating these tips into your daily life through weekly check-ins, and reflection time, you will start a transformative journey of self-improvement. 

Embrace the process of learning from your mistakes while nurturing a compassionate relationship with yourself. One that will continue to flourish over time.

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sofia success

Hey there, I´m Sofia!

 I´m a passionate, determined and happy person. I´m also a book lover and my passions include interior design, art, music and travel. I’m the creator of Sofia Success, a platform created to empower young woman to build their dream life and become their highest self.



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